


All's Fair In Platonic Love And War

by snekylady



Series: The Realm~ Dream SMP Snippets. [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendly competition, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, This is shit writing, This is what I do when I'm bored, author had a platonic wife but she left me, best friends get platonically married, etc - Freeform, i don't know why, no they're not competing for his hand this is about being the best friend, tommy and ranboo face off, tommyinnit is a jealous man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snekylady/pseuds/snekylady
Summary: Tommy gets a little jealous when he sees how close Tubbo is getting to Ranboo.After all, he's the best friend, shouldn't HE be the one Tubbo's building a hotel with?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: The Realm~ Dream SMP Snippets. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190972
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

“Tubbo!” Tommy yelled, standing outside his house. 

No answer. 

“See? This is what marriage does to you!” He yelled, scowling. It started raining, the droplets pouring down quickly soaking his clothes. 

“Tommy?” A familiar voice behind him asked. He scowled, turning around. 

Of course it would be Ranboo, who else? The gods hated him, he knew it. 

“What have you done with Tubbo?” He asked, sliding wet feet over the grass. “He’s at home…” Ranboo said, frowinging. “This is home!” Tommy gestured to the ramshackle building behind him. “No, Tommy. He lives in Snowchester.” Ranboo laughed, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Well it was home! And you took him from it!” Tommy shouted. 

Ranboo lost his smile. “I married him, Tommy.” He said gently. “I don’t live with him, he’s living with Michael for now.” 

Tommy scowled, crossing his arms. “It’s not fair!” He whined. “I’m his best friend!” 

“I’m his  _ husband _ !” Ranboo laughed. “I married him, and we’re building-” 

“Wait, what are you building?” Tommy asked, out of pure curiosity. Ranboo grinned. 

“A BnB.” 

~~~

Tommy scowled. OF course, they’d be building together. 

And of course, it was right next to his hotel. 

And OF COURSE, it was a cute little BnB hotel, yellow and flowers, and oak, patterned floors- it was cuter. 

“Only pussies stay there.” he harrumphed, if only to make himself feel better. It wasn’t true. He’d stay there, if he could. But public image- what would that say about his magnificent hotel? 

He headed into the Big Innit, arms crossed over his wet chest. The Big Innit Hotel was beautiful. A modern work of wonderful building, thanks to Samnook. He headed up to the top-floor suite- his favorite room, since it had a balcony. He went out, simply feeling the air on his face. He looked out on the ruins of l’manburg- and the new things that had popped up. 

Including the BnB. 

Tommy watched enviously as Tubbo came up the path, laughing. He hugged Ranboo hard, face buried into the tall man’s chest. He could see Ranboo’s grin from the balcony as he took Tubbo under his umbrella, and they headed into their new BnB. 

Scowling, he went inside, nabbing a towel from the room and drying himself off as much as he could. 

He felt… wrong. Sure, he’d always taken Tubbo for granted. Treated the man like shit. But Tubbo was his best friend! That was normal! ...Right? 

No. 

He’d seen how Dream treated George and Sapnap- when he wasn’t trying to look cool for his ego. He treated them like Ranboo treated Tubbo- right. And not…. Shit- like. 

He cursed silently, flopping on the bed. He’d never felt this lonely before… It was a different kind of loneliness. The kind of loneliness that you felt when someone was so close to you, but also gone. Not with you, with someone else, and they were building together… Tommy sat up, sighing. 

Tubbo was his own man. He could do what he wanted to. 

But then again… they were best friends. And best friends did everything together, right? He scowled. 

This was all Ranboo’s fault. 

~~~

“The floors are looking great!” Tubbo called from above him, where he was building the walls up. “Thanks!” Ranboo chuckled. 

“Oh hey, we can see Tommy from here!” Tubbo said, pointing to the hotel. 

“Yeah? I saw him today, he was looking for you,” Ranboo put down another row of tiles. “I think he’s feeling a little lonely.” Tubbo hopped down, concerned. 

“You think so?” he asked, wiping his hands on a nearby sheet. 

“Yeah. You should go visit, see if he’s okay.” Ranboo said, giving Tubbo’s head a quick pat. Tubbo smiled. “I’ll go over now, finish the wall later.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

~~~

“Why are you wet?” Tubbo asked. Tommy sat up, pushing the cat off his chest. 

“I’m grumpy, go away.” he muttered, pulling dry clothes out of a chest nearby. 

“Were you out in that rainstorm earlier?” Tubbo asked, frowning. 

“No.” 

“You can’t lie to me, I know you too well.” 

Tommy huffed, changing into the dry clothes and coming out of the bathroom. He crossed his arms. 

“What do you want?” He asked. Tubbo frowned. 

“To see you? How’ve you been?” 

Tommy sighed. “I’m bored, Tubbo. I’m very bored. And you’re building with  _ Ranboo _ .” 

“Well, yeah, we’re building a BnB! The Bee and Boo hotel! It’ll be great!” Tubbo exclaimed, linking his arm in Tommy’s and pulling him out to the balcony. “See?” He pointed to it, a bright smile lighting up his face. 

“It’ll be great, for sure.” Tommy muttered. 

“You don’t sound that excited.” Tubbo observed, pulling them back into the hotel as the skies opened up for the second time that day. 

“I’m- I'm not. I’m grumpy, I told you.” Tommy sat down, pulling Tubbo down with him. 

“Well, you could come help, maybe? That would be nice, I need some help getting the paint on the walls, I’m not tall enough to reach it all.” Tubbo pouted, flopping down next to him. 

“You have an 8 foot tall enderman husband for that.” Tommy snorted. He laid down next to Tubbo, head on his shoulder. Tubbo sighed, tapping his horns on Tommy’s head. 

“Yeah, I do. He’s freakishly tall.” 

“He is.” 

“I kind of like it, though. We’ve got vaulted ceilings now, and he's tall enough that he can reach the baking soda.” Tubbo grinned. “And he’s chill.” 

Tommy pouted. HE was the one who could reach the baking soda for Tubbo. He could reach all the tall stuff. They could have had vaulted ceilings, if they wanted too. 

“I can reach the tall stuff too.” Tommy said softly. Tubbo sat up, laughing.

“You could reach SOME of the tall stuff. ‘Boo can reach all of it.” 

Tommy scowled, crossing his arms. “Fine then.” He stood, pacing. Thinking. 

This was all Ranboo’s fault. Of course it was. 

He’d ruined the ultimate friendship. 

He’d made this a competition. 

Tommy stopped, an idea dawning on him. He’d compete- he’d compete. That sounded like something he would do. “Tubbo!” He turned, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. 

“What?” Tubbo asked, looking out the window to where Ranboo was working diligently on the BnB. 

No, he’d tell Ranboo about the competition later. He wouldn’t let Tubbo know. 

“Wanna go collect sand with me? I need some glass.” Tommy asked, smirking. 

“Down to the beach? Maybe later- I have to finish the painting in the foyer first.” Tubbo laughed. 

He pouted. 

“Please? I’ll help you paint, later, as long as Ranboo isn’t there-” 

“He’ll be there all day.” 

“Well fine, I’ll help you later if you help me now.” 

“Alright then.” 

Tommy grabbed his hand, a huge smile on his face. “Let’s go!” He raced out of the hotel, dragging Tubbo along.

“Wait wait wait wait slow down!” The other boy laughed. They slowed to a stop in front of the BnB, where Ranboo was doing the windows. 

Tubbo waved, shouting that they were going to get sand. Ranboo nodded, looking at Tommy. 

He grinned, a playful yet wolfish smirk that erupted across his face as he pulled Tubbo closer and mouthed “sand.” 

Ranboo narrowed his eyes, raising an eyebrow. 

“I need help with the floors!” He yelled back to Tubbo- who was oblivious to this whole thing. “Tommy said he’s helping us later!” Tubbo said. Ranboo nodded. 

“Well then go get sand, i guess.” he huffed, going back to the window panes. They walked off towards the beach, Tommy glaring over his shoulder at Ranboo. He frowned. That little twit still thought he was the best friend? 

Hah. Fine, then. 

Two could play at that game. After all- everything’s fair in love and war. 


	2. Part 2~ Glass houses and Baking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments get cupcakes, Y'all.  
> leave some for me! 
> 
> Also thank you to [tryingherbestpacito](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryingherbestpacito/pseuds/tryingherbestpacito) for goin over this one!! Loves and cupcakes!!  
> ~ Enzie.

“TuBbO!” Tommy screeched, soaking wet- again. 

Tubbo laughed, taking off with his water bucket. Tommy grinned and chased after him, tackling the smaller boy to the soft sand in the cove. Tubbo laughed, pushing him off and brushing sand off of his shirt. “You know, you are a real pain in the ass.” Tommy huffed, helping.

“Well no more than you are.” Tubbo shot back, grinning. They gathered the sand they’d saved and walked off, back to the Big Innit to make glass. 

~~~

  
The trap was set. 

Tommy laughed to himself as he carefully lifted the glass panes from the forge, putting them on the cooling rack. Tubbo sat happily next to him, leaning on his shoulder and measuring out the sand for the panes. 

“What do you even need this much glass for, Tommy?” He asked, spilling a little of the stuff into his hand to play with. 

“It’s… uhhhhhhhh… it’s for an observation deck.” Tommy lied, sweating. 

“Oh. Cool.” Tubbo said happily. Tommy let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. 

“Is Samnook helping?” Tubbo asked again. 

“Why would I need his help I don’t need help, I can build things myself-” Tommy rambled before realizing that the glass had cracked in the furnace. “Shit!” he yelped, drawing it out and chucking it in the nearest corner.

“Yeah, I believe in you.” Tubbo laughed. Tommy looked fondly at him, treasuring the smile he only got to see for a few minutes.

“Thank you.” He said, putting more sand into the furnace. 

Tubbo believed in him. 

He’d work hard to earn the Best Friend Status. 

Very hard. 

Ranboo wouldn’t know what hit him. 

~~~

Ranboo scowled, watching through a window of the BnB as Tommy and Tubbo made Glass and laughed together. 

He didn’t trust Tommy. Not fully, at least. The man always had SOMETHING up his sleeve. 

Then again, so did he. 

He turned away from the window, smiling ruefully at the chocolate cake in the oven. Tubbo’s recipe book was expansive, and besides, he was stressed. Baking was a healthy outlet, right? The timer chimed, and Ranboo slipped on the oven mitts and took it out, blowing on it gently. The warm, chocolate cake scent filled his nose and made him sigh. It was a happy smell- and it would taste even better. 

He opened a window, setting the cake on the sill to dry. The rain had stopped about an hour ago, but he didn’t trust the weather to stay this nice. Tubbo’s outside garden (Which Ranboo wasn’t allowed in, he’d killed a begonia-) was sparkling, carrots and lettuce and flowers and potato plants glistening from the fresh rain. Beyond the garden, on the other side of the road, Tommy and Tubbo were cleaning up cheerfully. He could see Tubbo’s grin from there. He fanned the cake, wafting the smell towards the Big Innit. The sky began to cloud up again, but there was no rain yet. 

Ranboo left the cake on the sill and got back to making the frosting for it. Hazelnut and chocolate went well together, and besides, if he could get some of the strawberries cut up just so… 

It was gonna be a good cake. 

~~~

As soon as Tubbo got home and saw the plethora of desserts on the table, he knew something was up. “Ranboo?” He called, worried. 

“In the kitchen!” 

He hung his coat up and took off his shoes, stepping around the now finished floor. 

“Oh, you got the stoves working!” Tubbo said in delight, seeing that Ranboo was stirring something on the lit stove. 

“Hah, yeah. They weren’t hard to get once Sam showed me how to hook one up.” He grinned down at Tubbo. 

“Also what's with all the baked goods? Did someone die or something?” tubbo asked, grabbing a spoon from the nearby box and sticking it into the sauce Ranboo was making. 

“What? Oh. no, no one died. I got bored.” Ranboo laughed. Tubbo blew on the spoon and stuck it into his mouth, grinning. 

“It needs sugar.” he murmured, handing the bag of sugar to Ranboo. The enderman poured a little in, turning down the heat. 

“Is that better?” he asked. Tubbo took another spoonful and nodded. 

“Much.” he patted Ranboo’s arm. “I’m gonna head home, okay?” 

Ranboo nodded. “Take some of the pastries home.” he murmured. “Michael might like them.” tubbo shrugged. 

“You know he’ll eat just about anything.” he said, heading back to the dining area and stashing a few in a basket for the little piglin. 

“He’ll like the jam ones, I’ll bring some over when they’re done.” Ranboo muttered, taking a piping bag out for the cooling jam. 

“Alright. Are you sure everything’s okay?” Tubbo asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” Ranboo smiled, patting the tiny horns that stuck up out of tubbo’s hair. He grinned. 

“Okay then. See ya later.” 

~~~

Everything was  _ not  _ fine. 

Ranboo set out the pastry shells, hurriedly shoving jam into the piping bag and making quick little centers to each pasty. 

Tubbo had been over there for FOUR. HOURS. 

With Tommy! Sitting there! Making jokes, laughing. 

Not that he minded that his husband was spending time over there- but he’d had to finish the floor on his own. And the stoves. The kitchen was done, now, just needed to put up the finishing touches. And they hadn’t started on the second floor bedrooms, like they were supposed to today. He’d stay late and finish, of course, but still. 

A little help would have been nice. And Tommy had said he’d help too. 

All he needed was a little help, that’s it! And some sleep. 

He scowled, pressing a little too hard on the piping bag. Jam squirted out, overfilling the pastries. “Dammit.” he muttered, cleaning up the tray. 

Just what did Tommy think he was doing, anyway? They were just sharing tubbo’s time now! It wasn’t all that bad! Ranboo sighed, throwing the dirty towels into the trash bin. Tommy would get hurt, doing this. He thought to himself. That worried him. Tommy was going to realize that not everything revolved around him, Tubbo certainly didn’t revolve around him, and it was going to break him. He placed half the pastries on a tray and set them out with the rest of the baked goods, covering them all with a fresh linen sheet for the next day. The other half he put into a little to-go box for Michael. 

~~~

Tommy watched Ranboo leave the BnB from the balcony on the upper floor. 

He scowled. Tubbo had left with baked goods, and now here was Ranboo, leaving with a small box? What was this, mail day? 

He went back inside, brushing fingertips on the glass he and Tubbo had made. “An observation deck.” he huffed. He already had one of those. So what would he do with all this? 

He went back out to the balcony, spying the little garden Tubbo kept. It was getting bigger. And the colder months were coming- 

That’s it. 

That’s what he would do with the glass. 

He’d build Tubbo a greenhouse. He grinned. Oh, this was the ultimate way to get Tubbo back. Tommy picked up a glass pane, looking through it. This would be his big finish- whenever it was finished, Tubbo would freak out and spend a lot of time with him. And Ranboo would be left in the dust! Ha! 

He would still have to do all the other things Ranboo did, though. Ranboo had baked Tubbo something, so he’d have to bake Tubbo something. There were box mixes down in the kitchen. He liked those, right? Something vanilla, or strawberry. Yeah. 

He got to work. 

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Your comments and kudos keep me fed, please don't let me starve.  
> Leave a comment and you get a hypothetical cupcake.  
> Also, if you guys have any idea what Tommy and Ranboo should compete about, comment! Please~ I need help. *whimpers*  
> ~Enzie. 
> 
> Also, if you like this, you'll love my friend's works, check them out!  
> [Here! You'll Like These!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryingherbestpacito/works?fandom_id=254648)


End file.
